Audio (TCP7, Day 05): Intro to Mettā Bhāvanā

A short talk introducing mettā bhāvanā (loving-kindness meditation), one of the four brahmavihāra, and its role as both foundation for and protection during vipaśyanā (insight) practice, followed by a full guided loving-kindness meditation. Includes the story of the Buddha’s Karaṇīya Mettā Sutta.

Sakya tradition · IBA Kathmandu · The Complete Path (TCP) 2026 · English · Talk + guided sit

For the full Sanskrit/Pali/Tibetan glossary and nine-stages reference table, see the Glossary and Summary for Morning Meditations.

Transcript

So good morning dear friends and welcome back for our morning meditation sessions here at IBA Kathmandu, part of TCP 2026. Yesterday His Holiness gently guided us in some reflections on the four immeasurables, the point in our sādhana where we invite the possibility for the mind and heart to become limitless.

Thomas Dhammadipa says these immeasurable minds, among them loving-kindness, mettā, compassion, karuṇā, joy or altruistic joy, muditā, equanimity, upekṣā are perhaps the most beautiful feelings that we can experience in this mind and body as human beings. And we will return to that word feeling in just a moment, emphasizing that these are not simply thoughts but something that runs much deeper.

It seems appropriate for us to pivot to a cultivation of at least the first of these immeasurable minds at this point in our series of practice sessions, given that this is a core part of our sādhana practice also. But it is also directly related to the cultivation of śamatha-vipaśyanā.

While there are good reasons for which in the Pa-Auk system of the Burmese forest traditions, loving-kindness, mettā and the other three brahmavihāras, divine abodes, are offered as a protection before the practitioner embarks on the cultivation of vipaśyanā, insight meditation, having mastered śamatha, a protection because the truth that is revealed in vipaśyanā is a terrifying truth in some sense.

It is a truth that disentangles, unweaves all of the stories that we habitually tell ourselves about what it is to be in this body and mind and how the world works, living as we do in the desire realm, insensitive to the reality of form, contented to accept our mental images, our imagination as real. For this veil to be thrown back and the truth to be illuminated can be a shocking experience.

Reason, capacity to cultivate from our own side a profound sense of safety is very important as a foundation for vipaśyanā practice.

And the Buddha also recognized importantly that this profound sense of safety, a mind infused with kindliness, friendliness in relationship to other beings, even in relationship to phenomena, the arising and passing of our experience, is also an important part of our foundation practice for śamatha itself.

It is very difficult for us to relax in body and mind if we are beset, if we are a victim of thoughts of anger, ill will, vyāpāda, along with desire, the first of the two main hindrances that we meet and the first of the two root poisons, grasping, pushing away.

And we have heard how important these two are already in that satipaṭṭhāna attitude, these four qualities of relationship to experience, our energy, diligence, our clear knowing what it is that we are doing, our mindfulness, keeping energy and relaxation in balance without grasping or aversion, remembering that these are qualities of the awakened but they’re also something that we invite into our sitting practice from the very beginning.

Even if we can only touch them briefly, they are the factors that open the path of śamatha for us, allow us to start to let go. And for this reason, there are clear examples in the early suttas in which the Buddha offered mettā as the first practice.

There is a story of a young novice coming to see the Buddha and asking for a meditation instruction to prepare him to go into Rains retreat for the Vasa, the three month traditional retreat. And from the tone of the reply, you get the impression that this is not the first time that this novice has asked for meditation instruction.

Maybe it’s the hundredth time actually that the Buddha has been asked for basic instructions the day before the retreat begins, coming from a monk who’s already been told once, twice, ten times, a hundred times how to practice. And in fact, the Buddha actually makes this monk ask three times before he tells him the basic practice that he should attend to in his Rains retreat.

But when he finally relents, the practice that he offers to begin with isn’t another than mettā bhāvanā, the cultivation of kinship. And this is a word that I choose to use in relation to mettā, partly because in the original language of the Vedas in Sanskrit, maitrī evokes the root that is shared with the god of alliance, of connection, of bond, mitra.

And you can imagine in those days of the early arrival of the Aryan civilization into the subcontinent, wandering tribespeople, perhaps a people used to instability, to a nomadic existence dependent on the weather, the rains, and also dependent on the goodwill of their neighbors. The idea of alliance and bond was a very important one.

And so while mettā has come down to us as also meaning love, friendship, it seems to me helpful to remember that it has a strong link in terms of its feeling with the very root of kindness in English, which is also related to kin, those of our flesh and blood, those that we feel bonded to, related to, the ordinary inner circle of our heart’s reach, if you like.

Those beings that we feel bonded to so that when we are face to face with them, what we feel is a genuine wish that they be safe, that they be cared for.

And while love may be the most beautiful feeling that we can have, it’s also true that in general, in common usage, we assume that it arises when we are face to face with a very particular kind of object, one of these beings that we would naturally instinctively care for.

And when we’re face to face with a different kind of being, someone that we don’t really know, for example, or even someone who we perceive to be causing harm to ourselves or to another, kinship or love is not the feeling that naturally arises.

Ordinarily, our love and kindness is limited, bounded, and it is the apramāṇa, the immeasurable aspect of this practice that makes it so important, so powerful, and also quite tricky when we begin where to find a foothold in this seemingly divine state of heart and mind.

This brahmavihāra, this dwelling of divinity, this illimitable mind seems somehow exalted out of reach, impossible for us to cultivate.

So thankfully, when we go back to the early teachings of the Buddha, we are rewarded with some very basic step-by-step instructions in how to bring this concept, which seems so far away and up in the clouds, back into the body so that it becomes a feeling and not just an idea. A feeling that is anchored in the body but one that we can connect with wisdom so that it is no longer limited by the body.

And this is actually the aspect of the cultivation of loving-kindness, of compassion, of joy and equanimity that makes them special śamatha objects, their connection with wisdom from the beginning. Why are they connected with wisdom?

Because they are connected with the understanding that in our ordinary perception, the worthiness or otherwise of an object for our love, whether it deserves our love or not, seems to depend on the object. It comes from outside. This is a dear one. This is a difficult being. This being deserves my love. This being deserves my anger, my ill will.

And it is connected to wisdom because in our perception, as it begins to change, to evolve, to grow, to become more wise, we see that love, the feeling of love, the wish for another being to be free from suffering, need not depend on my perception of that being and their worthiness. It can come from my own side.

It can recognize that actually underneath this appearance there is another being there just like me, with a heart that is subject to the ups and downs of life, suffers loss, sadness, also joy, and that only wishes to be free from suffering. So why would I wish for that being anything less than that which I wish for myself?

And in that state of mind, slowly we can allow less and less room for that ill will, fear, anxiety, discontent. In that state of mind, already those first two main hindrances to the path of śamatha-vipaśyanā begin to soften desire aversion.

And at this point you might be asking, how is it that I can work with the hindrance of desire if I’m actually giving rise to love, this sense of connection, maybe even attachment?

Well, this is a very good question and the answer lies in what are called the near and far enemies and each of the brahmavihāras, the immeasurable minds, has this pair of instructions that help us to recognize when our cultivation is on target. So we have a clear opposite to loving-kindness. This is ill will, hatred.

This is the enemy, if you like, that we can see coming from a long way off is very different to loving-kindness. The near enemy is the one that looks a bit closer to home and looks a little similar on first inspection, kind of seems the same. And this is indeed attachment to the far chēnhèn and the near tān’ài.

And it’s for this reason, as we’ll discover in a moment during our guided meditation, that when we choose our object for cultivation of loving-kindness, we don’t choose the most dear one that we can think of.

Because of this risk of giving rise rather than kinship, a love that does not ask for something in return, rises is a more worldly feeling of attachment, a love that asks for something in return. And so in the guided meditation that I will share in just a moment, we are calling upon our capacity for visualization, a mental image.

We are calling on our capacity for sensitivity to feeling in the body. And so for this reason, we can see how closely linked to meditation on the breath this process can be. If we are sensitive to the feeling in the body, so much more we are able to touch the subtle changes that happen when we begin to cultivate mettā, loving-kindness.

If our object is clearly visualized, then that feeling is more alive. And we connect that to a wish, an intention. And in relation to each object in turn, I will share those reminders so that we can slowly begin to familiarize ourself with the steps of mettā bhāvanā. And we will move through a series of three canonical objects and two supporting objects.

Introduce these as we go, but so that there are no surprises. The first is any being towards whom loving-kindness arises spontaneously. The next is our own self, because if we wish to give rise to a heart-mind imbued with kindness and care for another, that wishes safety for another, the first place that safety needs to be felt is in our own heart and mind.

And having established that base, we then move to a dear being, and then we break the barriers that would normally limit our kindness to just that circle of dear beings, one known to us, cherished by us, family members, flesh and blood. Exploring possibility to include also neutral beings, and then eventually even the possibility of allowing into that circle difficult beings.

So I’ll explain in detail as we go, but I invite you to establish yourself now in a comfortable meditation posture. Finding space for the breath, a sense of stability, giving rise to a clear motivation for our practice, not for our own benefit alone. And the intention for this session, step by step, mettā bhāvanā. Recollecting awareness back to feelings in the body.

Breath, inhalation, exhalation, relaxing, letting go of tensions, distractions, breathing in, aware of in-breath, establishing that connection with feelings of the breath in the body. Continuity, sensitivity, breathing out, aware of breathing out, aware of out-breath, attending to those sensations.

Continuity, sensitivity, relaxation, letting go, and establish that connection with breath in body, knowing that this safe harbor, this anchor in mindfulness, gone into the body, is one that we can always return to if our practice becomes dull, dry, or overwhelming.

This is our safe space, but inviting awareness now to follow the next in-breath down, down, into the heart space, meeting sensations there in the heart just as they are in this moment. Density, softness, any sensations at all, accepting these, recognizing them, breathing out, relaxing, allowing familiarity with the heart to deepen, clarify.

Inviting now a mental image into the space in front of a being to whom our feeling of love and care seems to arise by itself spontaneously.

Perhaps a baby animal of some kind, a kitten, a puppy, a duckling, we can experiment with different images, finding one that works for us to bring this feeling to life, tracking, as we do so, the feeling in the heart space, allowing that experience to deepen, to clarify, this being vulnerable to the ups and downs of life, in need of care, of protection, just like its mother would, giving rise to the wish, the intention to offer that protection and care to this being now.

Imagining the benefit that this embrace of light and warmth radiating from the heart space could have for such a being the relaxation it feels in body, safe at last, directly sharing in that benefit in one’s own body and mind in this very moment, breath by breath, allowing that same relaxation to spread outwards from the heart into the rest of the body, perhaps as a feeling of warmth or softness,

of light or spaciousness, as we do so, becoming the first one to benefit, the first beneficiary of loving kindness practice, one’s own self, having established that feeling with the help of that supporting object, that being towards whom our love arises spontaneously, knowing we can always return to this step if our cultivation becomes dry or abstract.

Continuing now with this second supporting object, one’s own self, rise to the mental image in the space in front, this time of our own selves, perhaps also as a child, vulnerable to the ups and downs of life, in need of care, protection, try to visualize ourselves clearly in that state, in our hearts and just as now, a wish only to be free from sadness, from pain, whether or not we feel like we

received that care, that protection, at that moment in our past, imagining the possibility here and now to offer that embrace of light and warmth radiating from the heart center to our own selves as a child, imagining the benefit that this embrace would have, ease of posture, perhaps a gentle smile on our lips, our tears dried, harmonizing the mental image with the feeling in the body of

kinship, connection, friendliness, of care, and the wish, heartfelt, that I myself be free from pain and suffering, free from anger, hatred, oppression, source of such suffering in the world, carry myself, body and mind in ease and freedom, establish ourselves in connection with this second supporting object, knowing we can always return to this phase if our practice becomes dry or overwhelming, or indeed to the first supporting object or simply the breath in the body.

We can continue now, inviting the possibility to extend this heart-mind of care, of kinship still further, once again inviting a mental image of a being, this time a dear being, one towards whom our love arises spontaneously, but not the most dear to us.

Not the one that maybe is also connected with strong feelings of attachment, slowly developing our capacity, visualizing this being also as once a child, perhaps, vulnerable, in need of care, imagining being able to provide that protection, that embrace of light and warmth radiating from the heart in this very moment, harmonizing that mental image, that feeling that arises spontaneously, the wish

for safety for this dear one, and with the heartfelt intention that this being also be free from pain and suffering, free from anger, hatred, oppression, that they carry themselves body and mind, all in happiness, that experience to deepen and clarify, relaxing the whole body, the heart space, and established in that cultivation, knowing we can always return here or to an earlier step,

continuing now with the next canonical object, this time a being known to us perhaps in our daily routine, someone that we meet from time to time, whose face we can clearly imagine, but towards whom we don’t feel strong attachment nor aversion, a neutral being, ordinarily included in the circle of our kindness and love perhaps, here recognizing that this being was also just like us and our

dearest ones, once a child, vulnerable, in need of care, prone to mishaps, the ups and downs of life, to sadness, to loss, why would we wish for them anything else than that which we wish for our dear ones or our own selves, their heartbeats like ours, the heartfelt wish that this being also be free from pain and suffering, free from anger, enmity, that they carry themselves body and mind, all

in happiness, harmonizing that wish with the mental image and the feeling in the body, in the heart, imagining the benefit of this embrace of light and warmth for this being, the ease that they feel in posture, able to relax at last, their tears dried, perhaps a gentle smile on their lips, sharing that benefit in our own body and mind in this moment, the ease that we feel, relaxation, experiment

with different mental images, we can return to the auxiliary image, the duckling or kitten, or whichever one we found helpful, if our practice becomes dry, abstract, disconnected from feeling and having established ourselves in that familiarity, knowing we can always return to an earlier step, continuing now with the last of the canonical objects, softening or breaking the barriers that normally

limit our love and kindness, giving rise to a mental image now of none other than a difficult being, but here as we learn, as we train, not the most difficult being that we can imagine, a three or a four out of ten is plenty, being that we recognize perhaps in our own life or even a public figure, again not the most difficult, recognizing that as before this being was also once a child, rather

than in the uniform or role in which we sense that this being has caused suffering, we can imagine them rather as that child now in need of protection at some critical moment in their lives, lacking that care and love, but now imagining in this moment that we have the power to extend that same feeling, radiating from the heart space, this light and warmth of kindness and care, just like a mother

would towards her only child, harmonizing that feeling in the body with the mental image and the heartfelt wish that this being also be free from pain and suffering, free from anger, enmity, oppression, source of so much suffering in the world that they carry themselves, body and mind, all in happiness, imagining the benefit, the ease that this being feels in body and mind, their relaxation, their tears dried at last, perhaps a gentle smile on their lips, clearly sharing in that benefit in our own body and mind, here, now relaxing the whole body, safe at last for hatred here, just this feeling of kinship connection, safety.

So as we conclude reflecting on our practice, noticing moments of clarity, perhaps moments of confusion, perhaps moments where the feelings have flowed naturally and moments when they have been more difficult to touch, and perhaps with our friends waiting outside, we can have time for just one question if there is something that needs clarification and we can invite people to slowly start coming in to find their seats.

So are there any questions? It’s not on, no? Yeah, you’ll just have to speak loud. I’ll repeat the question. Very good. Sunpini has shared that before she was just reading the recitation of the four immeasurables and now she feels something I rejoice continue. Very good. So thank you everyone.

May this heart mind of love be part of the container into which we receive not only the beautiful teachings from His Holiness but also the beautiful Vajra brothers and sisters that surround us and share this precious opportunity. So have a lovely day.